Every couple will hit rough patches in their relationship. It is inevitable. After all, we're all human, with our own thoughts, wants, needs and desires. There are lots of things that can contribute to stress in a relationship. Things like kids, money, jobs, houses, in-laws and the list goes on. Disagreements and arguments don't necessarily mark the end of a relationship. As long as you can "fight fair", disagreements can be healthy and motivating. But......many couples don't fight fair. Many keep past hurts stored up and available to further fuel disagreements, rather than focusing on the issue at hand. This is where problems begin......
Counseling can help couples learn how to disagree effectively, because, let's face it......you're going to disagree at times. However, having effective communication skills can be the key to having a healthy disagreement that can motivate a relationship to change for the better. Lack of communication skills can lead to disagreements that can break the relationship further. Together we can get to the root of the problems. My office is a safe environment to explore the issues that are preventing you from having the healthy relationship you want with your partner, and learn skills to improve your connection to each other.
What if there is infidelity? Research shows that more and more couples face issues of emotional and/or physical infidelity. Just the access that the internet gives alone, via things like chat rooms, websites and social media sites has increased the rates of infidelity in marriages to numbers never seen before. Research also shows, however, that infidelity doesn't have to mark the end of your relationship. It is possible to have a strong relationship after an affair, if both partners want to stay in the relationshp and are willing to work together. I can't say its an easy road, or one that doesn't bring about a lot of emotion, including sadness, guilt, feelings of betrayal, anger and many other emotions. Therapy can however, help to regain trust and rebuild the relationship. If you have decided not to stay together, therapy can also help to figure out the best ways to co-parent and deal with the issues that may come up with children.
I love to work with couples who are married, getting ready to get married, or who aren't even thinking in that direction. I love teaching couples ways to make their relationships flourish and watching the bond between couples increase. Through the process of counseling couples have the potential to understand each other better, have the communication that can lead to positive changes in the relationship, and be able to better communicate their needs and wants, while their partner can effectively listen and respond. I love to watch couples leave the past behind, focus on each other, and begin to live for their future together. If you and your partner feel like you've hit a brick wall and don't know how to get over it, or are tired of having the same issues cause stress and unhappiness, or are planning a marriage and want to learn skills before the "I do's", counseling may be the right step for you.