How to keep your sanity.....inside! Part 2

Hey all! Well, here we are, days later from my last post......and still inside! Buckle up, because this ride is not over just yet, and although the shelter in place is working to reduce numbers, we still have a little way to go. So, here is part #2 of how to keep your sanity while staying inside!

4. Nutrition is important. Did you know that foods can cause inflammation, which can also cause depression and anxiety? I have heard people talk about, and have seen MANY memes about how much weight we will all gain in this process. Eating well is very important....always, but especially in times of high stress. I know that the draw to all of the comfort foods, sugary yuminess, and salty fun is strong right now. Its ok to indulge occasionally (let's be honest....chocolate is necessity sometimes), but the emphasis is on the word OCCASIONALLY. Eat healthy foods, veggies, fruit and proteins. Your body, and your brain will thank you, and you will notice you feel less overwhelmed and stressed.

5. Stay hydrated. Depression and anxiety can result from being dehyrated. Water is essential to the functioning of the brain. If you begin to feel super stressed or overwhelmed...........Drink an 8 oz glass of water. Make sure you get plenty of water all day, every day.

6. Meet up with friends or family.......ONLINE! I have family scattered throughout the US. A family member came up with a great idea......family Zoom meetings! So each Sunday, at a specific time, everyone who is available logs onto the link in Zoom, and we have a family check in. We chat, check on each other, laugh, and visit. It isn't ideal, but it can help us from feeling disconnected from others that we can't be with right now. Some platforms, such as Zoom, are even offering free meetings for people right now, and it's super easy to do. Choose any platform that meets the needs of your group. This is also great for Bible study groups, friend chats, or any other time that you would normally meet up with others.

I hope that you are staying healthy, well and home! Stayed tuned for more ideas on how to survive the shutdown!

How to keep your sanity.....inside!

Good afternoon all! By now most of us are feeling the effects of being shut inside. Some are still working, just now from home, others have had a pause put on their worklife. I think of it like this.... I am a race car driver, doing 100 mph down the highway, when all of a sudden I have to slam on my breaks to wait for a deer to cross the road, who is just standing there, staring me down.  It feels like, pretty abruptly, life came to a halt. A screeching one at that. So, how are you managing this new set of stressors that we are all experiencing. Here are a few ideas.

1. Keep a schedule! You may choose to sleep in a little extra, but for the most part, keep a schedule, and keep it consistent. CHANGE OUT OF YOUR PJS! There is some weird magnet between the cloth in pj pants and our couch or bed. Changing out of your pjs is imperative to being productive. Shower, comb your hair, put on your make-up, and get ready the way you normally would to leave the house.

2. Exercise-fortunately, we still have the ability to get outside and exercise. Make this part of your morning if you are able. Walk your dog, take a jog, walk with some ear buds and good music. Enjoy fresh air (and hopefully some sunshine). For those of you who can't get out because of health issues, many gyms are offering online classes. There are also great videos on Youtube and the internet that you can do along right from your living room. Schedule this at a time of day when you can get into it. Yoga would be a great thing to start right now.

3. Meditate-Meditation has been proven in research, time and time again, to have MANY positive mental and physical health benefits. It also requires us to sit still for a bit. What better time to begin your meditation practice than now, when we have time inside. You can also choose to sit outside in a chair or anywhere else. I like Headspace for meditation. There are also apps like Calm, and Youtube videos that will help you in the practice of meditation.

Those are my 3 suggestion for today. Check back here on Friday, and I will give you some other ideas of how to keep your sanity in a world that feels totally insane right now. Please remember, that we are all in the same boat. Reach out to family and friends to check in with them and get some support yourself.

Stay well everyone!

Covid 19 office closure

Good morning!

I, like you probably are, am sitting here trying to wrap my head around the state of the world, and California right now. It seems a little surreal, and a bit overwhelming doesn't it?  Times of uncertainty bring fear, and I think all of us are feeling fear to one extent or another. When we are scared, it is usually because we feel we have no control. But, there are things we can control, even now when things feel out of control.

With the recommendations of federal, state and local authorities, and the Governor's order to shelter in place as of midnight last night, I will be moving all sessions to telephone, or video format, effective immediately. While I know that this isn't ideal for many (and I feel the same), I feel that it is in the best interest of both you and I to keep us all safe and healthy. I will be re-evaluating this on a day by day basis, based on the latest information and official information.

For video sessions, I will be using Google Duo, or Skype. While these are not HIPAA compliant platforms, they are the platforms that are most familiar to many. I aim to make the transition to telehealth as easy as possible right now. In the near future I may switch to a HIPAA complant platform, but since President Trump lifted the HIPAA restrictions on telehealth during this pandemic crisis, I feel this will be less stressful for everyone, than having to download and register something new.

I also recognize that finances are an issue for many right now, you may also be concerned about continuing your progress in sessions. For now, I will be offering 20 minute check in sessions for a fee of $30. If you want to check in, progress stress or review or build up coping tools, this may be an option for you.

For payment, since cash is not an option, I have 2 options. I can take your credit card number and run it through Square manually, as normal. I can also send a Square invoice. I do ask that Square invoices please be paid the same day as the appointment.

Your health and safety are of utmost concern. Please know that I look forward to meeting everyone back in the office, as soon as it is safe to do so. Remember to eat well, stay hydrated, take deep breaths, journal, exercise and stay well. Also remember, we are all in this together!  Smiles, Cheryl

New Years Resolutions

Welcome to 2015.  Can you believe we are nearly through the first month of the new year already?  I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that we are almost half way through another decade!  So, I hear a lot of opinions on new years resolutions.  Some are all for them and some are totally against them.  Here's my perspective.  If resolutions get you motivated to make positive changes in your life.....I'm all for it.  I personally, really like the idea of a new year and new goals.  My memory isn't all that great sometimes and often I have a hard time discerning when something occurred.  I love to start new goals at the beginning of the year so I can acurately tell when I began them.

Often times people feel pressure to start new goals.  Let me just say that having a goal is a great idea no matter what time of the year it is.  The most important part of starting a new goal, at any point in the year, is to have a system of reinforcements so that you continue to be motivated as time moves along.  This year my family and I are doing "the family jar".   We bought a cool jar and each time something memorable happens we write it down and put it in the jar.  I haven't figured out what works for my family on when we will review the jars contents yet, maybe at the end of the year.  Its a great way to acknowledge the gratitude for the blessings in our lives and a fun way to relive some good memories.

Whatever your goal is remember to keep up the motivation.  Some great ways to do that are to have a partner, friend, family member, co-worker or whoever help keep you accountable.  If your goal is to hit the gym 3 times a week, work out with a partner (PS it also makes working out more fun!), if your goal is to save more money, check out some of the charts Ive seen floating around on weekly saving plans or use a free app tool on your phone to do some budgeting.  The key to follow through with goals is to have them well planned.  Google can be a great resource to helping you plan ways to achieve goals.

So, whatever it is you want to work on.......plan it out, set your intention and get some support to get you help you reach your goal.  With some good planning and determination, nothing is impossible!

Couples dealing with the loss of a child

I get asked, time and time again by people working through the loss of a child about differences in the way men and women grieve.  Now, let's first acknowledge that there are no absolutes.  Some fathers will be much more open and apparent in their display of grief, while some mothers will be more reserved and show less emotion.  First and foremost it is important to say that no matter what way a person grieves, the grief is real, painful and at times overwhelming.  Just because someone doesn't cry, or you dont see them cry, doesn't mean that they aren't in extreme amounts of pain.

Loss, whether it be a child or anyone else of importance in life, takes  huge emotional toll.  It can change lives, cause lasting depression and shift relationships.  The loss of a child can be particularly difficult on couples.  There are several reasons for this.  One, partners often differ in how they grieve.  Men typically feel the need to "be strong" for their partners, thus not showing the emotion that they are feeling.  In turn, women may feel that they didn't care as much about the child, or the loss, as they do.  I see and hear this dynamic often.  For some couples this can create a wave of resentment.  The resentment can lead to communication issues, arguments and sometimes even divorce.  It is important for couples working through loss to communicate with each other about their feelings.  It is even more important for couples to stay away from assuming how the other person feels, or what a lack of emotion or an abudance of emotion means.  It is also important for each partner to stop and acknowledge that their partner is hurting too, but may not be showing it in the same way.

I often see and hear couples say things like "well he never cries or talks about the baby so I assume that he just forgot or no longer cares".  This is often the furthest thing from the truth, but like I always say emotion ALWAYS dominates logic, every single time.  Or "I feel like she never stops crying and I don't understand why she blames herself, even the doctor said she couldn't have done anything to prevent our loss".  Many women blame themselves for the loss of their child.  Even women who KNOW that the loss isn't their fault.  Its a natural part of the process of grief.  We like to have our "why" questions answered, even if it means blaming ourselves.

The loss of a child, or any grief, is often complicated and painful.  If you and your partner feel like you have gotten off track or are heading down a bad road due to loss, counseling can help.  Seek out a qualified counselor who treats couples and treats grief.  The sooner the better to help you both understand how to cope....together!