Menopause.....maybe?

I was talking to a friend not long ago. We were talking about the journey getting older (since we have known each other and been friends since age 12, we can compare. And no, I won't reveal how old I really am, don't you know its not polite to ask a lady her age? :). My friend mentioned that she had gone to the doctoer not long ago because "I just feel so angry all of the time, all of a sudden." She mentioned other things like dry hair and skin, insomnia, and feeling hot and sweating a lot. I asked her if she was in menopause and she responded "huh, I didn't think about that." 

It's something every woman will go through in her life. Some will begin it in their late 30's or early 40's, some later. Some will be in it for a couple of years, some for several. Perimenopause is what happens before you have 12 consecutive months without your menstrual cycle. Once you have 12 months without a cycle or you are in post menopause. Each woman's journey to the end of those 12 months is different, yet often the same.

The latest stats say that about 98% of women in perimenopause will have some mental health symptom at some point in their journey. 98%!!! That leaves 2% of women

ADHD.....for me?

You've heard the buzz word by now. ADHD. What does that even stand for? What does it mean? Isn't that something that only affects kids?

When I first began learning psychology back in 1998 (I know, foreverrrrrr ago!) the buzz about ADHD was that it was something that we saw in children, and then by some magical miracle, by the time you got into an adulthood (of which you were probably still grounded from your parents for not following one rule or another) ADHD just kinda POOOF! Was gone. I remember sitting as a fledgling college student thinking about how weird it was to me that someone just "lost" a disorder that affects their brain, that's written into their genetic code, about the time they turned 18 (ish). Our brain isn't fully developed until our early 20s. Well, as it turns out my gut was right, and science has learned that ADHD doesn't just go away when we hit adulthood. It morphes into other things.

When an adult has ADHD some of the symtpoms or tell tales can be undercover. This is especially true for women with ADHD. Girls with ADHD are significantly less often diagnosed than boys. Why? Because many girls aren't the kids in the classroom bouncing off of the walls, unable to sit still, or getting into trouble on the playground. For girls it looks more like the note that comes home from your teacher saying "your child is doing well with grades, but she talks excessively". Or in another case I can think of "Your daughter is very bright and finishes her work before most other students, but we had to move her again because she finishes her work and talks to peers around her." My family still laughs at that.

Some of the ways that ADHD shows up for girls and women are things like social anxiety, perfectionism, and RSD. RSD stands for Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. If you spend time after social interactions replaying conversations and wishing you could go back in time and speak differently because you are convinced that people, even close friends or family, think you're lame (or any other negative word you want to use) or you spend a lot of time not saying things for fear of how you will be perceived by others, you may have RSD. Imposter Syndrome (feeling like no matter how much you study or work in a field you really don't know what you're doing), RSD and perfectionism are just a few ways ADHD can show up for adults. For many women. Other symptoms include:

* easily forgetting names

* often misplacing items (such as your purse or car keys)

* being overwhelmed when in environments with a lot of noise, people or activity

* being unable to read or understand direction on maps

* difficulty with math or reading comprehension

* often being late, or conversely being overly preoccupied with being early

* mood swings

* easily angered and difficulty controlling anger or frustration

* having difficulty remembering the theme of a book or movie you just read or saw

* high levels of anxiety or OCD traits

* not being able to put away that load of laundry, clean the kitchen, unload the dishwasher or other tasks         we know are important but have a hard time completing

* hyperfocus-often this is on subjects we find interesting and enjoyable. You decided to learn to knit so you       spend HOURS on Amazon researching supplies, spend money on supplies, watch 1,000 YouTube videos         about knitting, and then get done about half of a scarf, and move on to another hobby, while chastizing         yourself for spending the money on knitting

There are several other signs that ADHD may be ruling your life as well. If you feel like these describe you, therapy can be a good place to figure it out, and make a plan for change. Treating ADHD doesn't always have to mean medication (although it can). I would love to come along side you and help you manage and use the superpowers that can come with ADHD.

How to keep your sanity.....inside! Part 2

Hey all! Well, here we are, days later from my last post......and still inside! Buckle up, because this ride is not over just yet, and although the shelter in place is working to reduce numbers, we still have a little way to go. So, here is part #2 of how to keep your sanity while staying inside!

4. Nutrition is important. Did you know that foods can cause inflammation, which can also cause depression and anxiety? I have heard people talk about, and have seen MANY memes about how much weight we will all gain in this process. Eating well is very important....always, but especially in times of high stress. I know that the draw to all of the comfort foods, sugary yuminess, and salty fun is strong right now. Its ok to indulge occasionally (let's be honest....chocolate is necessity sometimes), but the emphasis is on the word OCCASIONALLY. Eat healthy foods, veggies, fruit and proteins. Your body, and your brain will thank you, and you will notice you feel less overwhelmed and stressed.

5. Stay hydrated. Depression and anxiety can result from being dehyrated. Water is essential to the functioning of the brain. If you begin to feel super stressed or overwhelmed...........Drink an 8 oz glass of water. Make sure you get plenty of water all day, every day.

6. Meet up with friends or family.......ONLINE! I have family scattered throughout the US. A family member came up with a great idea......family Zoom meetings! So each Sunday, at a specific time, everyone who is available logs onto the link in Zoom, and we have a family check in. We chat, check on each other, laugh, and visit. It isn't ideal, but it can help us from feeling disconnected from others that we can't be with right now. Some platforms, such as Zoom, are even offering free meetings for people right now, and it's super easy to do. Choose any platform that meets the needs of your group. This is also great for Bible study groups, friend chats, or any other time that you would normally meet up with others.

I hope that you are staying healthy, well and home! Stayed tuned for more ideas on how to survive the shutdown!

How to keep your sanity.....inside!

Good afternoon all! By now most of us are feeling the effects of being shut inside. Some are still working, just now from home, others have had a pause put on their worklife. I think of it like this.... I am a race car driver, doing 100 mph down the highway, when all of a sudden I have to slam on my breaks to wait for a deer to cross the road, who is just standing there, staring me down.  It feels like, pretty abruptly, life came to a halt. A screeching one at that. So, how are you managing this new set of stressors that we are all experiencing. Here are a few ideas.

1. Keep a schedule! You may choose to sleep in a little extra, but for the most part, keep a schedule, and keep it consistent. CHANGE OUT OF YOUR PJS! There is some weird magnet between the cloth in pj pants and our couch or bed. Changing out of your pjs is imperative to being productive. Shower, comb your hair, put on your make-up, and get ready the way you normally would to leave the house.

2. Exercise-fortunately, we still have the ability to get outside and exercise. Make this part of your morning if you are able. Walk your dog, take a jog, walk with some ear buds and good music. Enjoy fresh air (and hopefully some sunshine). For those of you who can't get out because of health issues, many gyms are offering online classes. There are also great videos on Youtube and the internet that you can do along right from your living room. Schedule this at a time of day when you can get into it. Yoga would be a great thing to start right now.

3. Meditate-Meditation has been proven in research, time and time again, to have MANY positive mental and physical health benefits. It also requires us to sit still for a bit. What better time to begin your meditation practice than now, when we have time inside. You can also choose to sit outside in a chair or anywhere else. I like Headspace for meditation. There are also apps like Calm, and Youtube videos that will help you in the practice of meditation.

Those are my 3 suggestion for today. Check back here on Friday, and I will give you some other ideas of how to keep your sanity in a world that feels totally insane right now. Please remember, that we are all in the same boat. Reach out to family and friends to check in with them and get some support yourself.

Stay well everyone!

Covid 19 office closure

Good morning!

I, like you probably are, am sitting here trying to wrap my head around the state of the world, and California right now. It seems a little surreal, and a bit overwhelming doesn't it?  Times of uncertainty bring fear, and I think all of us are feeling fear to one extent or another. When we are scared, it is usually because we feel we have no control. But, there are things we can control, even now when things feel out of control.

With the recommendations of federal, state and local authorities, and the Governor's order to shelter in place as of midnight last night, I will be moving all sessions to telephone, or video format, effective immediately. While I know that this isn't ideal for many (and I feel the same), I feel that it is in the best interest of both you and I to keep us all safe and healthy. I will be re-evaluating this on a day by day basis, based on the latest information and official information.

For video sessions, I will be using Google Duo, or Skype. While these are not HIPAA compliant platforms, they are the platforms that are most familiar to many. I aim to make the transition to telehealth as easy as possible right now. In the near future I may switch to a HIPAA complant platform, but since President Trump lifted the HIPAA restrictions on telehealth during this pandemic crisis, I feel this will be less stressful for everyone, than having to download and register something new.

I also recognize that finances are an issue for many right now, you may also be concerned about continuing your progress in sessions. For now, I will be offering 20 minute check in sessions for a fee of $30. If you want to check in, progress stress or review or build up coping tools, this may be an option for you.

For payment, since cash is not an option, I have 2 options. I can take your credit card number and run it through Square manually, as normal. I can also send a Square invoice. I do ask that Square invoices please be paid the same day as the appointment.

Your health and safety are of utmost concern. Please know that I look forward to meeting everyone back in the office, as soon as it is safe to do so. Remember to eat well, stay hydrated, take deep breaths, journal, exercise and stay well. Also remember, we are all in this together!  Smiles, Cheryl